Posted in humor, I wrote this, music

Black Friday is comin’ in

(tune: “Sumer is a-cumen in”, 13th C. English)

Black Friday is comin’ in
Loud I say “Hell no”
Papers swell and shoppers yell
And shopping traffic grow
Say “Hell no!”
Bold employees brave the crowds
Damned if their paychecks grow
Stabbing, Trampling
Shoppers camping
Outside in the snow
Hell no! Hell no!
Wisely say “Hell no”
And online shopping go

(c)2013 Laura Foster/Mistletoe Ethaniel

Posted in day-to-day, personal, rant

Reply to a reply

I got a reply to a comment on Whiskey’s post, in which the commenter feels sorry for my experiences (I mention that I’m a survivor both of domestic abuse and of sexual assault) and she hopes that I can one day come to find joy in dancing again.

Wut?

Whiskey very wisely disabled comments on that post so I can’t reply there. And since I can’t Shut My Elfy Yap and let shit go…

Look, I appreciate the spirit in which your comment is meant, as much as I appreciate the spirit in which OBR is meant, but neither is what I need.

I DO feel joy about dancing. Time and place, is all. And, gah, please don’t feel sorry for me. I live my life day to day just like anyone else does, worrying about things like bills and taxes and the road conditions on the commute and if we’re out of milk or bread. I’m in a happy household with a loving partner and smart cat, I have nieces and nephews and joy and love and creative projects and hobbies and I do NOT want nor need pity. Please do not assume that just because I am not on board with this project, that it must mean that I’m too walking-wounded to want to play. I’m a survivor, not a victim.

As a matter of fact (no but srsly tho, Mist shut it), the assumptions made in the comment kind of piss me off. Don’t slap a ribbon on me. Go and provide the things I needed when I did need them: a place to go when my mother wanted to get out, a place to watch us kids while she tried to make arrangements and earn a paycheck. Money for that flight or bus ticket out of reach of her abuser. Someone to teach teenage me that no means no and it’s not up to me to say no in the right way or right number of ways for it to finally be heard. Someone to believe me when I said his advances weren’t welcome and I never want to see this person again. Someone to still be my friend and not automatically take his side and say I must have encouraged him somehow. Fuck dancing, fuck gooshy words. Go do that.

Please.

Posted in I wrote this

The Troll and the Paladin

(just a little story I’ve been working on.)
knight-clip-art-3
A troll once lived underneath a bridge, and made its living challenging passers-by into arm wrestling matches for gold coins. The troll would typically jump out and insult the travelers until they got angry enough to take the troll up on its wager.

It happened one day that a paladin was making his way across the troll’s bridge. The troll jumped out and cried, “You there, old man! You’re a washed-up has-been, a shadow of your former self! Prove you’re still a man worth his salt and arm wrestle me, winner gets 20 gold coins!”

But the paladin simply smiled and said, “Good day to you, Troll,” and made his way across the bridge.
Continue reading “The Troll and the Paladin”

Posted in Uncategorized

Song I wrote: I Don’t Really Celebrate Christmas

I was inspired to write this a couple nights ago at work, where I’m a night cashier at a convenience store. A man asked me out of the blue if I got my Christmas shopping done, and I made the mistake of joking that I’m beginning to think the Jehovah’s Witnesses have the right idea. He then began, in dead earnest, telling me why Jehovah’s Witnesses have the wrong idea. It wasn’t a remotely awkward moment at all.

(Chorus:)
Oh, I don’t really celebrate Christmas
At least not how you do
It’s not like I got anything against it
It’s just not what I do
I don’t go in for Midnight Mass
Making lists or checking them twice
I don’t really celebrate Christmas
But I do hope yours is nice!

(spoken) No no, I’m not Jewish either. Or Jehovah’s Witness. Take it easy.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the lights
And wreaths and mistletoe
I’m rather fond of caroling
And new December snow (but just a little bit)
No I haven’t got my shopping done
I don’t intend to start
And no I don’t plan to cook a ham
Or mail six hundred cards, ’cause

(Chorus)

(spoken) No, please, I’m not interested in why they have the wrong idea. It was a joke, chief.

Look, I don’t want to go to shops I hate
With funds I haven’t got
For people I don’t really know
Or else don’t like a lot
And yes, I’m working Christmas Eve
I know what you’re gonna say
Just save it please and buy your smokes
While I get holiday pay, ’cause

(Chorus)

(spoken) Seriously, now you’re going to ask me why I don’t? Haven’t you been listening to the lyrics?
You shouldn’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to, you know.
Well… just remember, you asked…

I tried to believe since I was young
I just can’t help but doubt it
The whole idea just seems far-fetched
When you think about it
And if you do, that’s well and good
Your freedom I applaud
It’s just my personal belief:
There’s no such thing as… Santa.

(Chorus)

(spoken while fading out)

I mean, come on, seeing you when you’re sleeping and knowing when you’re awake? Let’s be adults here.
And how can he be everywhere at once, and yet, nobody sees him?
Well, milk and cookies are hardly conclusive evidence.
So how come bad kids get XBoxes, and good kids who happen to be poor get, like, an orange in their stocking?
Oh no, not “mysterious ways”. Please.

Copyright 2012 Laura J. Foster aka Mistletoe Ethaniel. If you make money off this, I want some.

Posted in business in SL, humor, I wrote this, list, Shopping!, SL Marketplace

Why We Keep Going Back to SL

Despite the troubles and frustrations of Second Life, there are some of us (raises hand) who just can’t seem to walk away. Here are a few not-remotely-scientific reasons that Second Life has such a hold on us, like the scumbag boyfriend we just can’t seem to get away from.

Our Friends are There

Step into any other grid and if you find people at all, they won’t likely be your people. Oh sure you could try to get your people into this grid to pay you a visit, but why would they want to do that? It would be easier just to get in touch with you on Skype or email than to make a whole new duckwalking avatar. The fact is, if you want to “see” and hang out with your friends, and have hours-long IM conversations broken up into little digestible bits, it’s going to have to be in the world where you met them.

Continue reading “Why We Keep Going Back to SL”

Posted in day-to-day, graph, I wrote this

I made you a chart…

It’s been said that it takes an average of 10 years to become an overnight sensation. So by that measure I’m 8 years ahead of schedule.

Two years ago, I wrote an article, and I was kind of shy about promoting said article because most of the reason I blog is… well, here, I’ll illustrate it with a chart too:

Anyway, one day when a conversation came up in the SL Business forum in which a new person asked for some advice, I figured, hell, maybe she would find the article useful. So, I linked to it. Other posters really really liked it and it even ended up linked via the SL Wiki. Not bad! And, largely because of the links from the forum and the links from the Wiki, it’s pretty much the most read article in my whole blog. It even finally beat out the outdated listing for houppelandes (a mystery which eludes me to this day).

Well, being curious, I followed some of my incoming traffic links and found a discussion on the forums– about my blog post! Knock me over with a feather. But the part that really surprised me the most was the fact that one person was, I can’t make this shit up, honest-to-goodness offended.

By what? Bad grammar? Inaccurate or false claims? Product placement? No, she was offended because the article contained what I’ll lovingly call Graph 3:

This chart was made by Prad Prathivi, also two years ago. Underneath where the graph is posted, in my article, are the following words:

The graph may have been intended as a parody, but it’s still not that far off from the truth. You can hype the hell out of your product, get people through the doors in droves, but if your product isn’t good it won’t stay.

Now, having read that, is anyone here in question about the intent of the graph? Apparently, the forum poster still was, even though another poster said (in not so many words) “Um, dude. Parody.” And yet it still wasn’t enough to get the offended party to stop clutching her pearls.

So, I don’t know, maybe someone will read this, maybe nobody will, but I’m going to reiterate what I said at the forums (and have even said here before):

Posted in child avatars, day-to-day, in character, Petal on the Road, photos, roleplay, roleplaying, rp, travel, updates, vacation, work in progress

Sleighbells and Yak Butter: Petal on the Road, Day 5

One Kid, One Bike, and Hundreds of Sims: it’s day 5 of Petal’s bicycle trip along the roads of the Mainland continent of Sansara. When we last left off, our intrepid nine-year-old explorer had made camp at the Isabel Infohub. Let’s see what she discovers on Day 5!

When I woke up in Isabel, near the Infohub, there were 51 avatars sharing the sim with me! There was also an intersection; I decided to go straight (south-west), further away from the crowds. OMG LAGGGGG. I thought I'd never cross that bridge.

Continue reading “Sleighbells and Yak Butter: Petal on the Road, Day 5”

Posted in day-to-day, I wrote this, music, OpenLife, song

The Content Creator (song)

(c) 2009 L. Foster
Tune: “The Moonshiner”, Irish Traditional

(chorus:)
I’m a builder, I’m a scripter
I’m a performer too
This whole grid was built
by the things that we do
(I’m) done lining your pockets
With my hard-earned cash
It’s off to a new grid
Where I’ll rez till I crash

I’ve been an SL-er for over a year
I’ve made stuff from clothing to houses to beer
I pay for uploading, I pay when I sell
I pay for my land and to cash out as well

(chorus)

I’m taking my talents to a new count-er-y
I’ll sell all my lindens and go on a spree
I’ll get my own region for a quarter the price
And with triple the prims it’ll surely be nice

(chorus)

Oh Lindens, oh Lindens, how did I love thee
But you’ll never rest till you take all from me
So bless content makers and buyers of goods,
For you ne’er more will see me in this neighborhood!

(chorus)