Black Friday is comin’ in

(tune: “Sumer is a-cumen in”, 13th C. English)

Black Friday is comin’ in
Loud I say “Hell no”
Papers swell and shoppers yell
And shopping traffic grow
Say “Hell no!”
Bold employees brave the crowds
Damned if their paychecks grow
Stabbing, Trampling
Shoppers camping
Outside in the snow
Hell no! Hell no!
Wisely say “Hell no”
And online shopping go

(c)2013 Laura Foster/Mistletoe Ethaniel

Things that are Not Medieval, Vol. 1

I just learned today that Regretsy, one of my favorite websites, is hanging it up after three and a half years of whimsicle fuckery. Well in honor of them and their “Things That Are Not Steampunk” series, I’d like to offer some discoveries I’ve made while browsing the “Women’s Medieval/Fantasy Costumes” tag at the good ol’ Second Life Marketplace.

And so, without further ado…

If you ever need something to laugh about… (probably NSFW)

…read some of the Marketplace listings for genitals.

Oh no! Dramatic Woe!

I stumbled onto a small shop called SWAN Animations by way of the Marketplace.

So I went to check out some of their animations in person. Not a bad selection at all, and I can see some of them being very useful if I’m going to make machinima. Like this one, called Dramatic Woe. Nabbed it for 50L. I’m demonstrating it along with the classic YadNi Emoter HUD.

Most of their animations are no-copy, and as such, are pretty reasonably priced. Check them out for yourselves in-world.

I’ll likely pick up a few more of their goodies when I have more funds, especially their “carrier” sets, and their medievally geek-liscious Horse’s Bransle dance poseball set.

Good Night, Ladies

My poor prim Barbershop singers have been singing the same song, over and over and over, for the better part of a week.

So, last night, I sent them on a well-deserved break.

Why We Keep Going Back to SL

Despite the troubles and frustrations of Second Life, there are some of us (raises hand) who just can’t seem to walk away. Here are a few not-remotely-scientific reasons that Second Life has such a hold on us, like the scumbag boyfriend we just can’t seem to get away from.

Our Friends are There

Step into any other grid and if you find people at all, they won’t likely be your people. Oh sure you could try to get your people into this grid to pay you a visit, but why would they want to do that? It would be easier just to get in touch with you on Skype or email than to make a whole new duckwalking avatar. The fact is, if you want to “see” and hang out with your friends, and have hours-long IM conversations broken up into little digestible bits, it’s going to have to be in the world where you met them.

Work Around

(by RayCharles Linden)*
(Original tune: “Mess Around”, Ray Charles)

Blues Brothers Night at Hotlanta Blues, Feb. 2009

Aw you can talk about the new Marketplace
Where the descriptions don’t match the face
ahh, Work Around
We doin’ the Work Around
Do the Work Around
Ev’rybody do the Work Around

Nobody was rezzed, you can bet your soul
Waitin’ for the restarts to start to roll
We Work Around
We doin’ the Work Around
Do the work Around
Ev’rybody do the Work Around

Now the office hours are from noon to one
Nobody ever gonna get stuff done
So we Work Around
We’re doin’ the Work Around
We’re doin’ the Work Around
Ev’rybody do the Work Around

Now see that girl with the extra bling
She’ll make a laggy mess of everything
So we’ll Work Around
We doin’ the Work Around
Do the Work Around
Ev’rybody do the Work Around

*(not really. It’s by me, Mistletoe.)

So, yeah, still not having a lot of luck getting shit working at the Marketplace. So, I’m working on finding a way around it. Wish me luck.

The plan is: all the erroneous listings that are in the Magic Box, I’ll relist with DD, and vise versa. We’ll see.

NO PRESSURE!!

Well didn’t I get one hell of a surprise to find myself listed among Suella’s “10 SL Blogs You Should Read“. And not only on the list, but at the top of the list! It’s a very exciting endorsement and my ego is very happy about it.

But with that comes the other side of the coin: “People are reading this thing now! I gotta write something and it better not suck!”

So until I think of what that something that doesn’t suck may be, I’ll give a kind of an introduction to you lovely new folks about who the hell I am and what you can expect when you read my blog.

First: Why I blog in the first place.

I find a picture says a thousand words, don’t you?

My favorite SL Bumperstickers

Today, in response to a photo at NWN of a bumper sticker reading “Avatars do it in Cyberspace”, Pete Linden asked on Twitter what would be some other good SL bumper stickers. And of course, SLers in Twitterland rose beautifully to the challenge. Following are some of my favorite #SLbumpersticker – tagged Tweets of the day.

Anthems for Second Life

The deadline is coming up for the SL Anthem Contest, you guys.

I’m not taking part. For one thing, the lyrics are already written, and that’s the part I’d have any shot at being good at. I’m not a composer. I’m the kind of composer that would make Mozart go, “and then it’s just the same thing, right? It doesn’t really work, does it?” and he’d laugh his insane goofy laugh while composing circles around me in that lavender crushed-velvet coat (which, nothing to do with anything, I want).

'It doesn't really work, does it?'

Additionally, you not only have to compose it, but you have to record it. Do you know why there are no Cat Agus Cu recordings? Because a certain elf who will remain nameless (but whose name rhymes with “This’ll Go” ) is phobic of recording. I have a grand total of ONE existing recording of me singing, dating back to 1994.

And even if I were to compose the perfect melody, get my chicken-shit ass into a studio, and somehow win? I’d win under $200US, if I’m doing my math right. Call me a greedy bastard, but for all that, I want a little bit more to show for rights to something I composed.

It does get me thinking, though, that SL really could use an anthem. I’m just not sure the lyrics proposed for the contest are it. So I sat me down and tried a few possible anthems, to the tune of already existing ones.

Rod save our awesome sims
Rod save our pretty sims
Rod Save Our Grid

Lags are notorious
Load times laborious
But it can be glorious-
Rod save our Grid!

I figure, being a Yank myself, maybe I should write something to the tune of our own national anthem:

O Say can you see
By your eighteen face lights
What so proudly we built
After six months of dreaming

Bold sculpts and big prims
Of improbable height
On the screens you can watch
Diff’rent videos streaming

And the textures so fine
Perfectly in a line
Give proof you can see
of our awesome design

Oh why is this outsanding
Parcel still gray…
I’ve been here half an hour-
Rez sometime today!

Of course, I try to be a citizen of the world…

Allons, enfants de la Teen Grid
Le jour de fusion est arrivée!

Actually I don’t know enough French to continue that one.

O, Second Life
My home and virtual land
My kids and wife
Say it’s gotten out of hand…

I don’t know O Canada well enough to scan beyond that one.

Anyway, those are my humble contributions to the idea of a Second Life anthem. What have you got?