Posted in addiction, day-to-day, out of character, recovery

Off the Wagon

It’s been less than 24 hours since my last login.

I don’t know how I feel about it. I’m still sorting it out.  Embarrassed and ashamed,  I guess. And eager to do it again.

The thing that really hurt me about SL was the time sink. Hours and hours and hours would melt away and feel like 15 minutes. And those hours– hours that could have been spent working or dealing with issues IRL– would be gone, never to return.

So. If I’m going to do this. IF!! If I am going to do this, I need a way to keep track of time. To set a timer, and stick with it. To do the things I have to do FIRST, like pay the bills or arrange the interview or do the chores or finish the commission project or whatever it is I need to be an adult and take care of first.

 

Advertisements
Posted in addiction, entertainment, events, Manic Elf, out of character, personal, recovery, RL, updates

I miss you.

So the next Second Life Birthday is in planning stages. 13 already. Damn. Does that mean that this June would be my 10th rez-day?

SLBs are the hardest time of year for me to keep away from SL, because they’re some of the best of what the grid has to offer all in one convenient spot: a font of creativity and genius, without the Lab putting their dirty hands on it. It’s hard not to miss that; I would be lying if I said I didn’t.

And there are people I miss a lot too. I try to keep up on emails, or chatting with them on Facebook or Twitter, but it’s really not as easy to keep that connection without the medium on which you made the connection in the first place. I want to, though. If you see this and haven’t heard from me in a while: I miss you.

I logged on my alts once, about two weeks or so ago, to shake them down for loose change. It was a little, just under a hundred bucks, and is helping us get through a tight spot. The spots are always so tight these days. My job isn’t going so great, but I’m working and trying to further myself in it. I can’t really afford my hobbies (SCA and LARP) anymore, either in money or in time.

I do have a Fiverr gig going on now, though. After playing Undertale (which a friend got me for Xmas) I’ve wanted to live in an 8bit world a while longer, so I fired up RPGMaker and now I make custom video-game greeting cards for five bucks a pop. Nothing too fancy, but cute as hell: a custom sprite of the recipient solves a puzzle, opens a door, and gets a personalized message from the sender. You should have a look! And if you’re on the evil Book of Faces, you should like my page and share the love!

I’m tempted, speaking of Fiverr, of doing machinima videos of firework greetings like I used to do. But that would mean investing myself in SL again and I don’t think I should do that.

Anyway, that’s what’s going on in my world. What’s going on in yours?

Posted in addiction, personal, recovery

” I don’t want to be [Avatar Name] anymore.”

One of the hardest things about withdrawal from Second Life has been the loss of touch with my SL friends (see previous blog post). There’s some on Skype who aren’t on Twitter, some who aren’t on Twitter or Skype but only on email, some I can just never seem to pin down in any way at all. But fortunately we haven’t all disappeared completely off the face of one another’s planets. Mostly we all keep in touch via email (but that does remind me to turn Skype on. BRB.).
Continue reading “” I don’t want to be [Avatar Name] anymore.””