Shortly after posting my previous blog post, I received an IM from a stranger saying (in not so many words) “hey, we see from your blog that you’re really busy, but could you maybe use your blog to promote us please?”
I was offended on more than one level. First, by the idea that my blog exists to promote someone else’s agenda; but mostly, the fact that they didn’t even read the previous post.
How “broke, miserable, and depressed” got translated into “busy” I’m not sure. But somehow it was. The IM left a sour taste in my mouth for anything related to Burn 2.0 (or whatever they may call it next year). Oh hey, pal, look at that, you got your wish. I mentioned you.
Since the previous post and ensuing IM, things IRL have begun looking up. Through what can best be described as a cross between fortuitous timing and being lucky enough to be related to the right people, I got hired at a new full-time job. It’s 40 (and sometimes more) hours per week and second shift, and it leaves me feeling physically exhausted. But it’s paying the bills a lot more readily than the previous part-time (and at fifty cents an hour less) job was.
Additionally, himself has work coming in as well, from not one but two sources. He says that being able to provide for the household makes him feel like a man again, and I think he means that not so much as “human with penis” as meaning “adult who takes care of shit”. The added income could not come at a better time. September and October are when people actually get ready for winter here. And in rural New England, getting ready for winter really does mean something tangible and real. It means getting winter clothes. It means making sure there’s heating oil and propane. It means locating the shovels, checking up on the integrity of the pipes, bringing in and canning what’s left from the garden, insulating the perimeter and putting plastic in the windows… you know, ant stuff. With winter on the approach and our benefits disappearing (another rant for another time), we were really dreading what was to come. But now, we both feel like we can really go into this winter prepared and not beaten down like we were a year ago.
The full-time RL hours, however, mean that now I really am busy. When I’m not working, I mostly sleep. I work 8 (and sometimes more) hours per day, commute a half hour each way, then sleep 10-12. My days off (also the days when I do RL housework and errands) are Mondays and Tuesdays, so weekend events at the Plucked Wing are non-existent. Which, I guess, is pretty much how they were before I arrived anyway, so I try not to feel too guilty. I do feel guilty, however, in that my wages for managing the Wing include house and shop booth rent, and frankly I don’t feel like I’ve earned either. But that’s for me and Julius to work out.
So anyway, now it’s accurate to say I’m busy. But I’m content, if a bit tired, and disappointed that I can’t spend more time creating and relaxing.
Hang in there, work is worth it this time of year.