Posted in business in SL, Clover's Kitchen, day-to-day, personal, rant, RL

It must be July.

This seemed to happen a year ago too. I’ve been getting this overwhelming feeling of being, well, overwhelmed. I dream at night about running my pub (only in dreams it’s a weird mish-mash of SL and RL). I feel chained to my computer for hours and hours at a time, just so that I can make tier to keep doing this. Meanwhile Clover’s Kitchen is experiencing its longest dry spell in its history (eight days ago there was one L$50 sale; it was the first in nine days). I’ve run out of both ideas and will for any new products. The brief creative spurt for Elflet now has me thinking, great, now what do I do? I better do something. And the fact that I totally flaked on our rescheduled gig this Wednesday has me feeling stupid and unreliable. Top it all off with a feeling of futility. LL’s just going to take fees and let people rip off my works anyway; if I ever get big enough to actually make it on SL income then I’ll be big enough to be ripped off. And I’ve seen it time and time again: there’s no real recourse when that happens.

It’s supposed to be fantasy fulfillment. It’s supposed to be magic and interesting and fun. Where the hell is the fun?!

So I feel like I’m at a point where I have to make some decisions. I closed up Living the Dream after such a decision a year ago, and scrapped a festival plan I had in the works.

I feel like if I could put as much energy as I’ve put into SL into something in RL, I’d be doing pretty well financially.