Posted in Alts, day-to-day, love, out of character, personal

“I’ve got issues. Wanna hang out?”

So I’m on as one of my (too many) alts the other day when I spy someone just kinda standing by the roadside in Northfarthing. Came up to her as I was headed home. I said hi, she said nothing back, so I checked her profile.

What followed was 500 characters about how wicked, evil, and “sadusive” (?) her ex-partner is/was. Names, ages, and personal insults given. Not one word about the individual now standing by the side of the road… well, that is to say, nothing intentionally said about her. She actually does succeed very well in saying “I’m petty, vengeful, immature, and so hung up on my past baggage I can’t be bothered to make anything of myself.” Congratulations, Miss Thing, you have succeeded in having the ugliest persona I’ve come across yet in SL. And believe you me that takes some doing.

I quickly left the scene before she said anything back, feeling like I dodged a bullet by avoiding conversation with her.

Really, if you make your baggage your whole identity, who the hell is going to be interested in talking to you? I have yet to meet a single individual, male or female, real or virtual, that the “poor me I’m such a victim” routine works on. You don’t hear guys saying “Whoa, dude, check out the chip on her shoulder!” or women saying, “Boy, I’d like to listen to HIM piss and moan and whine about how unfair life is all night!” Of course we all have past hurts, at least most of us. And our past does certainly have an influence on who we are and how we approach things in the present. But as the mostly useless Wayne Dyer once put it: the wake is behind the boat, it shouldn’t steer it. And of course it’s important to talk about your past and your hurt in order to process it and move on. But there’s a time and a place, and your SL profile is neither. You’re neither processing nor moving on.

And speaking of useless, attempting to exact revenge is the very definition of useless. When you’re hurt, you want the one you feel wronged by to “get it”. We all want that. But some petty act of revenge, be it badmouthing them in your profile or stalking them as an alt or whatever else, doesn’t accomplish that. All it makes your ex “get” is that they are the luckiest person on the planet to not be with you anymore. If they’re going to “get it”, they’re going to do so in their own time and in their own way; and, they may never “get it” at all. If you get rid of that attachment you’ll find yourself free to go forward and get on with your life; to present your best You to the next person to come along.

So, yeah. We all have issues. Get over em and move on.



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