Posted in day-to-day, out of character, rant, talking tummies

Talking Tummies need to talk MORE, I say!

Something feels good inside your heart as you feel the baby are [sic] moving once again. You can’t wait to see this precious baby!!

I don’t know if you already know my feelings on the talking pregnancy belly or not. Let’s talk about them shall we?

First off, I can’t help wondering, why would anyone in SL want to be pregnant in SL? I just don’t get it. And this coming from someone who can’t have children IRL. Even in those few moments in my life that I truly dreaded the fact that I would never have babies, even then, I never wanted to experience pregnancy. I figure at best it’s the RL price we pay to pass on our DNA. So knowing that in SL you don’t have to pay a price at all (fuck, just make a kid avatar to call you Mommy if that’s what you want!)… WHY?!

I think the pregnancy bellies in SL gloss over the realities of pregnancy, “talking” about the good and cute parts of it only. I propose that if you’re going to annoy everyone in chat range with a blow-by-blow account of your pretend pregnancy, it should be a more realistic, accurate portrayal.

  • Your bladder is telling you once again that you’ve got about 10 seconds to find a bathroom! 10… 9… 8…
  • Whoops, looks like your breasts have leaked some more. What’s that, your third sweater today? Hope it’s not dry-clean only…
  • Your back is killing you, and you’d LOVE to sit down and rest. ‘Course your hemhorrhoids say to hell with that!
  • You can’t remember the last time your boobs were this sore. You can’t wait to have this ^*$#^@* precious baby!!!
  • Your libido is through the damn roof. Any male avatar within 10m of you had better watch out. You just can’t function until you hop onto some naughty poseballs!!
  • God, you feel like you’re retaining the entire tank at Sea World. How can someone who pees so often hold so much water?!
  • Oh, there’s that warm feeling in your undies again. You wonder if it’s spotting or just more incontinence.
  • Your face has broken out in a gazillion zits. Gotta love them hormonal changes!
  • You should drink plenty of water because boy are you feeling constipated!!!

Maybe if the talking tummies would cover these slightly less cute (but certainly very authentic) moments as well as the cutesy cravings and kicking and such, folks would be a bit more reluctant to wear them. Hey, you want to pretend to experience pregnancy? I say, really get the full nine yards out of the experience.

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IT'S ME.

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