–it’s day to day living that wears you out.” –Anton Chekhov
What do you say to someone you promised you would never love, when now you know you were wrong?
What do you say when you know you have no choice but to let him go?
How do you get through a day when every little thing reminds you of what used to be, what might have been, what can’t be anymore?
I’m angry. I’m hurt. I’m helpless. I’m frustrated as hell. I said to him, it looks to me like you’re not really wanting this. He assured me I was paranoid. He thought he would protect me, I suppose, thought I wasn’t a big enough girl to handle “No, I’m sorry, I wish I was, but I’m just not.” Maybe one day he’ll really get that a sincere “no” beats a half-hearted “yes” any day.
If he were to do this for me now, if he were to save up and get that new computer and get onto SL after all this time, it would be grudgingly. It would be out of a sense of obligation.
I hate that it has to be this way, but I know it does. As soon as he said it to me, I realized that this chapter in our lives has to come to a close.
When the heart speaks, what choice does one have but to listen?