Posted in personal

My Shopping Adventure

Well, I’ve come into some lindens lately, between commission projects and a few good gigs, so I decided that I’m long overdue for splurging on myself. I already have a home, I already have a shop, I already have a horse (deer, actually), I already have a handful of musical instruments, so what more could a girl want?

That’s right: the X3.

Some of you know exactly what I mean by that. The rest could stand some filling in. You’ll pardon an accidental pun later I hope.

Yes, I’ve decided, what with having had a cyber one-night stand somewhat recently and fighting the urge to say “OMG where did you GET that cock? It’s sooooo cool!!!”, that my own standard equipment could stand a bit of upgrading. Sure, my printed-on pussy is cute and all, but what can it do? Hm?

So began the search for the right designer vaginer. This is something that probably nobody, except possibly people undergoing a male to female sex change, has to worry about in Real Life.

My first prospect was the Lady Love, billed as the first-ever interactive vagina in SL. Comes with a HUD (for non-SLers: kind of like an attached program), several color options, and–their words not mine–“realistic cum and pee” effects. Now, I have to take exception with their loose use of the word “realistic”, because according to their display screenshots, this puppy can shoot out a yellow stream of urine or a thick white stream to rival any male’s–at a two-foot trajectory. Any woman out there who’s ever been camping wishes she could pull off a two-foot urinary trajectory–especially while standing! Still, these things aside, it didn’t seem to be a bad product for the $500L price…but I was still unsure.

So I IMed a girl friend and said, “What are your thoughts on the Lady Love?”

“I don’t know,” she said, “I got mine from XCite.”

Now there’s a name I had heard a lot, from more than one of my female pals, and nothing but good. Did they really have a built-in notecard that enabled you to fill in what your turn-ons and turn-offs are, and it responds accordingly? Is there really some interactive system–consisting not only of body parts but of toys, poseballs, accessories, and even erogenous zones–that makes them all respond to one another? Is it pricey?

The answer is yes, yes, and kinda. I went into XCite’s main shop and found it very tastefully arranged. No products are visible in the lobby, but you can follow the signage to the different rooms: stuff for males, stuff for females, stuff for non-humans (by which they mean non-humanoids; elf parts are pretty much the same as human parts, just cuter), toys, upgrades, BDSM supplies. Well, so, I went into the Girls room first.

It was a little overwhelming at the start. Where does one begin? Clits, nipples, HUDs, poseballs–feet? Really?–I bypassed piercings and sound effects and there I found the display for the X3. This is apparently the Cadillac of Clitori, the Porche of Pussydom, the Volvo of Vulvas. Maybe not the last one because I don’t know what its side-impact crash safety rating is, but you get the idea. This puppy’s got it all, apparently, and will make you breakfast after.*

* – The claim of the X3’s ability to prepare a meal after sex has not been proven, and is not an official statement by XCite. But it still is really fucking awesome.

Well just as I’m reading over the features–and there are many–I get an IM from another girl friend. “Hey, whatcha doin’?”

“Shopping for body parts.”

“That sounds…morbidly interesting…”

“THOSE kinds of body parts.”

“Oh, cool! Have you been to XCite yet? Because they got a bunch of cool stuff.”

“I’m there now actually.”

And we talked a bit about what I was seeing, when she had an idea:

“You know…I have a whole bunch of XCite parts that I never use anymore…I could give you a bunch of stuff on an indefinite loan. Except the clit, I mean.” (I trust she’s holding onto that one!) So I said sure and accepted a whole folder full of goodies: XCite goods are transfer but no copy, so you can get your sweetheart a cock while you’re shopping. Or give your elf friend a couple of erogenous ears. I’m not sure just how to thank one for giving you sex organs, but–thank you!

So I picked up a clit, cock, and HUD while I was in the neighborhood, and will probably go back for a vibrator later on. I don’t care if they didn’t have them in the medieval times. It’s an enchantment. So shut up. I went home and after securing some alone time, I decided to field-test the X3 and see if it’s truly all it’s cracked up to be.

Kids, I’m eating the breakfast it made me after. Ho-lee hell. The world can crash around me, I don’t care, I got my X3. Life is good.

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IT'S ME.

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